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ESCALATOR ESCAPADES..//!2&

2004-10-26T08:48:43Z

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I couldn't be more fed up with life and second chances. I tried being social, I tried be vulnerable and likeable and open. I wish there were someone as isolated, as obsessive, as analytical, as neurotic as I am. Someone I could just hide and watch the world and the people with. I really don't think I belong in it. I'm such a troll. Ugh.

Shhh I'm not telling when I leave.

LOMOLOMOLOMO

2004-10-20T16:36:23Z

I had a dream where I had a LOMO and now I want one even more than before.

allusive @ 2004-10-18T12:25:00

2004-10-18T17:25:37Z

DROVE TO MINNEAPOLIS WITH CHRISTOPHER JAMES TO SEE THE BEST BAND EVER. ADVENTURE PICTURES SOON.

TRAVIS MORRISSON (SINGER FROM the dismemberment plan) WAS AMAZING. THEY DANCED LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS AND I SAW THE KEYBOARD PLAYER'S UNDERWEAR TOO MUCH. THEY COVERED WHAT'S YOUR FANTASY BY LUDACRIS AND PUT RAP TO SHAME. THEY HAD A SONG CALLED "PEOPLE DIE". I LIKED IT.

BEN GIBBARD OH YES. DEATH CAB PLAYED MY FAVORITE SONG(S) AND MADE MY YEAR. THEY SOUND BETTER LIVE THAN RECORDED.

I AM CURRENTLY UPLOADING THE ADVENTURE PICTURES OF OUR CRAZY TRIP.
THERE WILL BE A PICTURE POST SOON.

SMOOTH OPERATOR.

2004-10-09T22:57:29Z

(Psst!) I don't see the appeal in rumors. It is cute however that I am such a hot topic. What's so exciting about me, really? Maybe I should be flattered! The idea is so contradictory. I suppose the though of choosing to be reclusive is intriguing. Or maybe I'm so awful that you can't let a day go by without warning the public of my monstrosity (dun dun DUNNN). Hahaha. It's just so damn amusing because honestly, I'm so harmless. Wow.

Maybe I'm passive but a rebuttal just doesn't intrest me. & Maybe it's lethargy that I've got, but I think it's just maturity. Tsk tsk.

OKAY so my newest trend in photography is panoramic views. This one is awful because it wasn't done properly & was mostly just a trial, but I'll spit out something good eventually.

Lastly, last night was my low point of the past couple months. I'm a wreck. I'm very appreciative of those who made me feel better. Really, you mean a lot to me doll.

allusive @ 2004-09-06T11:17:00

2004-09-06T16:19:36Z

I'm going back to hiding out.
I like it much better when I'm invisible.

Beauty in the breakdown;

2004-08-31T06:30:51Z

GARDEN STATE GARDEN STATE GARDEN STATE GARDEN STATE
GARDEN STATE GARDEN STATE GARDEN STATE GARDEN STATE
GARDEN STATE GARDEN STATE GARDEN STATE GARDEN STATE
I am in an awful mood.
Times like these I wish I had someone to hug.

CHILLIN' AT THE FORT GURRY

2004-08-14T10:53:47Z

Tonight, for the most part, was wonderful. I really appreciate you, for sticking by me. I really should have been born a boy. No, I retract that. If I were a boy I wouldn't have looked as pimpin' as I did tonight in my flashy heels with two classy accomplices. I have discovered that by looking as cocky as possible and not giving a second glance, you can go anywhere you want. I have discovered that scary men with glass eyes work in the basement, & I have discovered that though stilettos look hot, a lack of sneakers have proven to be quite painful. "Haunted" buildings have taught me that hidden hallways are the best hallways, freight elevators are worth the risk, and that we have been severely deprived of good wallpaper in the recent years. That stealing is okay if they don't find out, illegal exploring is one of the greatest of all activities, and that there are very few people who make me genuinely happy and I love the few friends I have right now. I will go to work in one hour on zero sleep, but be content with the ridiculous amount of photos I came home with.

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I can be quiet wherever I want.

2004-07-19T19:15:07Z

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Goodbye moon.

2004-06-16T21:40:49Z

Today was officially the last day of school.
I'm a little overwhelmed in the sense that I don't know how I feel about it. It seems very surreal. It upsets me when I think of all the time and emotion I've wasted trying to be different people and getting my confidence stepped on numerous times. It upsets me to know that those people will have never grown up or realized the affect they had on others. & That I gave way to many second chances. It upsets me that I'm going to be forgotten because I wasn't a class clown, a nerd, a drama queen, a slut or a popular girl (which coincidentally are usually the same thing). I'm a recluse and I get a sick feeling in my stomach when I realize that I'm never going to forget all these people who made me that way, yet they won't be able to put a name to my face in 6 months.

Despite all these things I'm still sad it's over. Best years of your life, my penis. If these were the best years of my life I invite someone to shoot me in the face. It's been fun, but I guess I'd hoped it would be different. Maybe I watch too many movies.

I used to eat popcorn for every meal, she told me once. It made me feel like I was in the movies & my life would turn out happy in the end. Did it work? I said. I don't know, she said, but I like to think the roughage counts for something.